Cover image from Goodreads.com

I kept stumbling across rave reviews of this novel so I thought I’d give it a read. I haven’t read anything else by the author but am familiar with titles that include the phrase, “Got Pounded in the Butt” or somesuch thing. Based on the reviews, I figured this book would be a serious horror.

It was not.

I’ve read a lot of horror in my day. Many dark evenings were spent deep in the trenches of gore, psychological horror, thriller, and graphic murder mysteries. While it’s not my thing right now, I’m familiar with spine-tingling creepiness nestled between the words of horror novels.

This novel made me tip my head in amusement, not horror. I mean, a girl coughing up a bunch of bugs? Sorta gross, sure, but more amusing than anything else. Before I get too much farther, here’s the basic plot:

Rose is twenty and on the cusp of graduating high school. Her uber-religious upbringing entailed taking two years off school to study the tenets of the Kingdom of the Pine, so she’s a bit behind her peers. KotP also runs the most effective gay conversion camp, Camp Damascus. Rose, while enjoying a late summer day with friends, notices how she really wants to impress another girl, not the boy she arrived with.

But her thoughts of this girl are interrupted by the visage of a strange looking woman with stringy hair, long fingers, and white eyes hiding in the trees nearby. Whenever Rose thinks of her attraction to other girls, this creepy woman shows up. At one point, the creepy woman actually breaks one of Rose’s fingers, so she’s not a mirage.

Now, I can get behind this plot. LGBTQ+ people are tormented by their demons. Okay. Those demons are tethered to the person at the gay conversion camp. Sure. Rose doesn’t remember attending the camp and is shocked that her parents don’t seem fazed by her coughing up a billowing cloud of bugs or when she tries to tell them about the creepy woman. Great.

These elements could contribute to a gut-wrenching creepfest but instead I felt little more than amusement. I finished the book only to see how things would be resolved; would Rose vanquish her demon? What of the demons of the others affected?

After finishing the novel I sat and thought about why this didn’t tug at my heartstrings or ice my belly. I suspect it’s because the author keeps the reader at a distance. Variations of the phrase, “I found myself…” in the narrative put a wall between the reader and the character’s experiences, as did the use of “suddenly” and “seemed to”. Bottom line: it was all telly and not showy.

Not every scene needs to be shown. Many scenes can be (and should be) told to keep the narrative flow running. But a novel that’s all telling makes for an emotionless read.

Along the same lines, I believe an editor should have caught the overuse of “I blurt” and “…is all I can think to say”. Those phrases appeared so often that I wanted to highlight them and send the manuscript back to an editor.

The overall message, however, is good. Vanquish your demons and find comfort and support in your found family instead of your blood relations, especially if the person you are goes against the person your relatives expect you to be. People deserve to have the room to learn who they are without punishment or shame. If that means someone has to leave a room and find a new one with more supportive people, so be it.

From what I know, this author is popular online and writes inclusive stories featuring LGBTQ+ characters. This novel had the potential to be great, but turned out feeling rushed and emotionless.